Article
Peace Is Around The Corner. By Marion Pargaman - Jerusalem 2002.
I would like to tell you about a quite extraordinary event that happened to me during a walk
organised by Tovana, the group of the vipasana meditation in Israel. What happened was a very
personal experience but I felt it was very important to share it with other people. The walk
took place on the first week of April. It intended to give an opportunity for Palestinians and
Israelis to walk together, to develop dialogue and self-introspection inspired by the ancient
traditions that guided people like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King. What I experienced in
the last day is very much in the spirit of peace and coexistence, of calm and serenity created by
the walk in the midst of the atmosphere of insanity and violence around us.
During eight days, participants walked together from Tel Aviv-Yaffo to Jerusalem, passing by
Jewish and Arab towns and settlements in silence and awareness, declaring a commitment to deep
listening and nonviolence. I joined the walk with a group of Palestinians and Israelis who
practise meditation and mindfulness together according to the tradition of a Vietnamese Zen
Buddhist monk and famous peace worker. I participated in several days of the walk. Monday 8th
of April, the last day of the walk was the eve of the Holocaust day, a day of deep emotion for
the Jewish community. It went from Ein Kerem, through Jerusalem to the foot of the old city
walls. I planned to join the group from the morning, but after a sleepless night I decided to
join later.
In the early afternoon I park my car at the final meeting place of the walk. I walk up to the
walls of the old city, to meet them on their way. When I got to the Jaffa gates I find myself
in front of a very agitated elderly Arab man exchanging insults with an elderly religious Jew
standing at a bus station a few metres lower down. Some policemen from the border police patrol
are trying to calm them down so that it doesn't turn into a fight as they are extremely angry.
I stand beside the Arab man and speak to him calmly and ask him to sit down without reacting to
the other's provocation. I am quite impressed by the restraint shown by the policemen. They
don't defend one side or the other and respect both sides.
A bus arrives, the Jewish man boards the bus and the situation seems to settle down. Then a
Jewish woman who was there in the queue from the beginning of the argument and did not get into
the bus takes upon herself to start insulting the Arab who reacts immediately. The police have
gone and I'm left alone to try to calm and situation. I give my attention to the Arab who would
have stayed quiet if he was not continually provoked by the woman. I try from a distance to
reason with her without success. She stops a passing police car and says something to the
policeman who walks up to the Arab. I explain to him what is going on and he goes back to the
woman. I am so happy that the policemen act so calmly to help to restore peace.
Then a Palestinian woman on her way to the Jaffa gates burst onto the scene. She jumps to the
conclusion that the old Arab is under attack and rushes in a frenzy to rescue him. She yells
insults at the Jewish woman who is beginning to calm down and the situation heats up again.
All my attention is now focused on her, I feel she is like a bomb ready to explode. I try to
explain to her what has been going on but she is furious with me, screaming out her hatred for
her despair and pain. This is Palestine accusing Israel and at this moment I represent Israel
for her.
The whole situation is greater than the two of us and takes on proportions beyond our present
meeting. She shouts out her sorrow about what is going on now in the territories, the military
incursions into Palestinian towns. She talks in particular about Jenin where some terrible
fighting is now taking place. She has family and friends there and she says that our soldiers
are war criminals. She is convinced that we want to kill them all. Why do we hate them so much?
They are not responsible for the Holocaust, why should they be paying the price?
She tells me about the refugees in their constant suffering for which we are responsible!
Pointing at the Jewish woman she assures me that this Sephardi Jewish woman was treated with
honour, as a human being, in the Arab country from where she comes and look at how she behaves
to Palestinians now! She goes on and on. She shouts and spews her hatred for Israel at me.
I don't try to argue with her I don't show any reaction to all these accusations. I feel a huge
compassion and intense need to listen to her, only listen to her. My patience is nourished by
understanding that behind this overwhelming hatred is the deep suffering and pain aggravated by
the present situation of war. It must express itself in some way so that healing can take place.
I'm ready to listen to what appears to me the worst accusations, distortions or calumnies without
reacting. I am aware that what reinforces my strength at this moment is that I have absolutely no
doubt that the suffering and pain of the Israeli people is not less real or legitimate. I don't
let myself get tempted or trapped in guilt or anger. I'm sorry for the tragedy on both sides.
My compassion for her is not on the account of the compassion and loyalty I have for my own
people, for myself. For me this is not an issue of who is right and who is wrong. I feel very
very calm and peaceful deep inside. I know that this is the only way to calm her fury and let
her express herself for a long time without interrupting.
As she continues to shout at me, I tell her that she has no need to speak so loudly because I am
listening to her with all my attention. At the same time I find myself caressing her arm, she
lets me do it and progressively lowers her voice, while continuing to let her despair overflow.
She says to me:
"do you understand why some of us come and commit suicide among you? You kill us anyway so why
not kill you at the same time? " She even mentions the possibility of coming and
blowing herself up out of despair.
I tell her softly that I don't want her to die, nobody should come to this decision, we all suffer
on both sides. She goes on claiming that the Zionists only want to get rid of the Palestinians.
I tell her;
"I am a Zionist and I don't want to get rid of you. I wish we could live together as good
neighbours." She listens to me!
She tells me about the demonstration that took place the week before near Ramallah. She
complains about the Jewish organisations who took part in it. Then she asks me to donate some
money to buy phone cards for Palestinians who need them. I give her some money. At this stage
the conversation is quite normal between us. She doesn't shout anymore, she is even able to
listen to me. She is almost calm and I notice the people of the walk approaching us slowly at
the top of the street. They are in a line, 100 of them, one after the other walking in silence
slowly, quietly, aware of each step, creating an atmosphere of peace and safety around them.
They are very present. They radiate calm and warmth. I point them out to her and explain that
this is the reason I came here, to join a walk of peace in which Palestinians and Israelis are
together. I tell her about the walk, its message of coexistence and peace; peace at every step,
here and now. I suggest that she comes into the line with me. She hesitates and rejects my
offer.
At this moment they reach us. Several people I know shake my hand warmly as they go by. A young
woman very active in a group of rapprochement between the two peoples approaches her and gives
her a kiss. It appears that they know each other. I noticed that she is very moved by the walk
and the atmosphere it radiates. She seems to be calmer now, nothing like the furious woman I met
only several minutes before. The end of the line passes by us and I want to join it. Again I
invite her in, again she declines. I tell her that I understand and respect her decision.
Before I go I tell her I'm sure that someday we will succeed in building peace between us.
She smiles and replies:
"me too"
then to my total surprise, she comes close to me and kisses me on my cheeks!
She walks alongside the line for a while. She tells me that she likes this walk, that it makes
her feel good, gives her relief and that her mood is much better now. I'm very very moved. I
feel overwhelmed by this encounter, especially by its unexpected ending.
Peace was there around the corner, I did not miss it! I was aware that an intense moment of real
reconciliation had taken place!
Everything contributed to it; incredible timing that brought me to this place at this time, that
brought her, in her turn with enough time to first pour out her anger, to receive needed
listening and compassion, time to calm down so that she could be receptive to the subtle quiet
energy of the walk. The walk, emanating intense healing, bringing the tangible presence of peace
and goodwill of a whole organised group appeared just in time to complete the scene adding a wider
perspective to an individual encounter. The thick walls of hatred were shattered allowing her to
express what was deep in her heart. Kissing me was a miracle! Within a short period of time
laden with emotions, the energy of hatred and death underwent incredible transformation.
I don't know if, or how quickly she returned to her initial state or how long she remained calm.
I only know that this profound transformation was very real and intense; no matter what followed,
it will leave a trace and a memory that cannot disappear. The seed of peace was sown in her
heart. We must plant many more and water them thoroughly!
I never understood so fully the deeper meaning of the words pronounced by Thich Nhat Hanh in
Shanghai on 19th October after the 11th of September tragedy:
"terror is in the human heart. We must remove this from the heart. Destroying the human heart,
both physically and psychologically, is what we should avoid. The root of terrorism is
misunderstanding, hatred and violence. This root cannot be located by the military. Bombs and
missiles cannot reach it, let alone destroy it. Only with the practice of calming and looking
deeply can our insight reveal and identify this root. Only with the practice of deep listening
and compassion can it be transformed and removed. Darkness cannot be dissipated with more
darkness. More darkness will only make darkness thicker. Only light can dissipate darkness.
Those of us who have the light should display it and offer it so that the world will not sink
into total darkness. "
The story is not mine alone. I know I have the duty to tell it to as many people as possible so
that planting seeds of peace may go on and on.
There are various peace walks being organised by different groups of people in Israel on a regular basis.